shawntesalabert.com » backpacking food https://shawntesalabert.com/_ Sat, 29 Mar 2025 00:01:41 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 Things I Have Ingested While Backpacking: An Incomplete List https://shawntesalabert.com/_/2016/05/18/things-i-have-ingested-while-backpacking-an-incomplete-list/ https://shawntesalabert.com/_/2016/05/18/things-i-have-ingested-while-backpacking-an-incomplete-list/#comments Wed, 18 May 2016 15:42:51 +0000 Shawnte Salabert http://shawntesalabert.com/_/?p=558
  • Swedish Fish candies (red only)
  • Chocolate pudding containing all of the things we couldn’t fit into our bear canister that night
  • The charred remains of a solitary square of over-fried SPAM
  • Multiple unidentified winged creatures, raw
  • Crushed Pringles, with a slight residue of crushed dreams
  • Occasional cat hairs
  • Half an unpeeled orange, given to me by someone who probably hadn’t used soap in three weeks
  • Industrial container of refried bean flakes as marketed towards Doomsday Survivalists, separated into 1.5-cup servings and topped with powdered cheddar cheese wetted with tears of joy
  • Several packets of “berry flavored” Gushers candies, which I thought went extinct in the late 90s, but resurfaced in the timeless Muir Trail Ranch hiker buckets
  • Payday candy bars (breakfast only)
  • Starbucks VIA packets, straight
  • Forest fire smoke
  • Strawberry shortcake (made with fresh strawberries), hauled in by some other sucker
  • Costco-sized amounts of ibuprofen
  • Occasional Mountain House meals, despite the knowledge that I will fart dinner smells for about 24 hours afterwards
  • High quality Humboldt County weed
  • Tuna packets seasoned with taco mix and guilt
  • Ramen with unintentional dirt sprinkles
  • Chewy Japanese candies pressed into my hunger-stricken palm by concerned weekenders
  • Small bits of fingernail, on accident
  • South Fork Kern River water, flavored with the essence of cow shit
  • Something I found at the bottom of my bear canister that might have been chocolate or might have been a small bit of dried mud
  • Idahoan mashed potatoes topped with Cheetos
  • Idahoan mashed potatoes topped with Fritos
  • Fritos topped with Cheetos
  • A gourmet quesadilla conjured from sun-melted Kraft singles, canned chicken, and stale tortillas
  • Small bits of that stupid paper they wrap around ginger chews
  • Beano
  • Apple cider mixed with whiskey mixed with exhaustion
  • Whatever anyone handed me, really

    • Photo at the top of the page is a pot of mac and cheese garnished with crushed Fritos. I ate this refined delicacy while on a break along the Pacific Crest Trail, near Clover Meadow. I had my shoes off and smelled like your teenage son’s gym socks. It was divine.

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